Maja formal Emails FCE writing challenge June 2015

Informal email – composition no.7 ( complaint letter)     15/6/2015

You recently bought few vinyl records because of this advertisement you saw in the local newspaper. You are not at all satisfied with quality and you have decided to write to the newspaper to complain. Look at the advertisement and the notes you made and write your letter.

FCE writing complaint letter

 

Write your letter. Don’t include any postal addresses. Write your answer in 140- 190 words in an appropriate style on the separate answer sheet.

Dear Sir,
I am writing to say that I am not happy with purchase I have done, because I saw an advert in your newspaper. The advertisement about vinyl records is absolutely unreal.

There’s a bit of mess in introduction.

I’d write: I am writing to say that I am not happy with purchase I have done in your store. I believe that the advertisement about vinyl records, which I saw in a local newspaper, is absolutely unreal.

First, you promised special offer of choosing three free vinyl from your library, while I had to take what you gave me and my problems did not stop there. To make matter worse, it was a big issue to find interesting records so it is simply not true that you have a great deal of choice. I have been looking forward to listening my favourite records which  I bought in USA, but to my surprise it turned out your multi system does not play those once..

It’s a relatively well written 2nd paragraph, however it just states the questions you have, why don’t you add some more personal touch to it.

you promised special offer of choosing three free vinyl – you promised a special offer when choosing three free vinyls

a big issue – I’d say a (massive) struggle

those once – those ones

I must insist that you should refund me the whole cost of those vinyl records, in fact there is no possibility that I damaged them because I did not even open the box.

Well done !

I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Your faithfully,
Maja  Jaskolska
a

That’s fine… but you should write Yours faithfully 

Informal email – composition no.6 ( transactional letter)     13/6/2015

You are planning a camping holiday with a friend and you saw a Camping Site advertisement. Read the advertisement together with the notes. Then write to Meadows Camping Site asking for the information and adding any relevant questions of your own.

FCE letter formal

Write your letter. Don’t include any postal addresses. Write your answer in 140- 190 words in an appropriate style on the separate answer sheet.

Dear Sir/Madam,
 
I have recently seen your advertisement in the local newspaper and I would like to enquire about Meadows Camping Site. 

It’s a great introduction.

Please could you send me further information about direction walking from Dover Bridge to the camping? I would also like to enquire about bus route frequency.

It’s a relatively well written 2nd paragraph, however it just states the questions you have, why don’t you add some more personal touch to it.

direction walking – do you think it’s grammatically correct phrase? I know it’s taken from the task but it’s considered to be a note- not necessary written correctly. 

In addition, I would be glad to receive some more details about available facilities. Could you tell me is it possible to connect with the wi-fi there? And also, would you be able to explain more about feeding? Is it full board or self catering and how much it cost? Do you think is it attainable to organize cycling tour? You set up fishing so I was wondering if sailing is available as well? Could you send me information how much I have to spend for accommodation?

Well done for including the topic sentence.

what’s feeding??? You can feed a baby, what did you mean here? Also, was it part of the task- was it included as the note? Full boarding or self-catering, cycling tour, fishing, sailing weren’t included anywhere within the topic, so you shouldn’t write about it that much, you can add one question that you think is relevant. Stick to the notes! 

By writing more about  other things that weren’t part of the task you automatically limited yourself by not answering the task fully. Next time, make sure you concentrate and write more about the notes and maybe then just add few other things ( e.g about you and one additional question ).

I’d rewrite the 2nd and 3rd paragraph and concentrate on the notes+ relevant points about yourself (small personal touches). Before rewriting these paragraph, make sure you revise indirect questions- these were  sometimes used incorrectly in your composition.

Thank you in advance for you help. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely, 
Maja Jaskolska

That’s fine.

Informal email – composition no.5 ( application letter)    12/6/2015

You see this advertisement in an international  newspaper.

TRAINEE MANAGER

We are looking for an enthusiastic and committed person with a good knowledge of the European financial markets to work as a trainee manager in our new Madrid branch. This is a challenging and demanding position for banking and finance graduates.

We offer flexible working hours, a fully-supported staff development programme, a clothing allowance and intensive language course in English and/or Spanish. Excellent prospects for promotion. 

Salary  € 25,000- € 35,000- a year depending on experience.

Send a letter of application to: Marianna Hardy, 349c High Road, London, UK

You must answer this question. Write your letter in 140- 190 words in an appropriate style on the separate answer sheet.

Marianna Hardy

349c High Road
London, UK
 
13th July 2015
 
Dear Ms Hardy,
 
I would like to apply for the position of Trainee Manager, which was advertised on the www.jobsite.co.uk website. 

It’s a good introduction. Well done!! Although the task didn’t say it… you don’t need to include the postal address!

Don’t forget to put ARTICLES before singular nouns …. position of Trainee Manager – position of a Trainee Manager

At present I am working for financial institution based in Central London as a Financial Manager. I think I would be suitable candidate for this function because I am someone who knows how to set goals and achieve them. I have a proven track record of being able to develop and execute strategies. I believe my strong finance and banking background will enable me to be an effective part of a team.

Well done! It’s great!

Don’t forget to put ARTICLES before singular nouns.. read the 2nd paragraph… are there any articles (a/an/the) missing?

One of the main reasons I am applying for this job is that I have always been interested in European financial markets. With my skills and experience I am confident that I can implement financial support in your new Spanish branch. 

 

Great!

I look forward to the opportunity to interview with you. If you have any questions I can be contacted on 07777777777 at any time. Thank you for considering my application.

Sincerely,
Maja Jaskolska

Remember to sign your name and then print your name clearly underneath.

I look forward to the opportunity to interview with you.- I look forward to an interview opportunity with you.

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