Dorothy formal Emails FCE writing challenge June 2015

Informal email – composition no.7 ( complaint letter)     15/6/2015

You recently bought few vinyl records because of this advertisement you saw in the local newspaper. You are not at all satisfied with quality and you have decided to write to the newspaper to complain. Look at the advertisement and the notes you made and write your letter.

FCE writing complaint letter

 

Write your letter. Don’t include any postal addresses. Write your answer in 140- 190 words in an appropriate style on the separate answer sheet.

Dear Sir/ Madam
 
I am writing with regard to advertisement published in newspaper about Vinyl Record Depot. I would like to write that I was disappointment with several things.

It’s a great introduction.

Dear Sir/ Madam – Dear Sir/ Madam, it’s the same mistake you made in the previous letter

Briefly, The problem is that despite the fact that you promised freedom in choosing vinyl record, I had to take that which were given to us. You also said that you have variety of ranges records whereas in fact there was lack of them. To make matter worse, when it comes to playback we would not be able to play vinyl in USA even though you ensured us that this will be possible in whole world. Furthermore in your advertisement was written that you are able to refund money in case being unhappy with your product, but to my surprise you accused me of damaged them and turned down my request of refunding money.

It’s a well written 2nd paragraph.

…, The problem- are you sure you need a CAPITAL letter here?

variety of ranges records – wide variety of records

choosing vinyl record, I had to take that which were – is it a singular vinyl or more than one?

we would not be able to play vinyl in USA even though you ensured us that this will be possible in whole world – I’m not sure if you’ve understood the note, it said that there are machines which can play vinyls, but you weren’t allowed to play the ones you’d bought in the USA . So, the sentence is wrong in terms of the context but also grammar ( why did you use would not be able? do you refer to present or past? where did you play the vinyls in USA or in the USA? 

accused me of damaged after a preposition we add -ing to a verb! 

In order to resolve this matter I am looking forward that you refund me at least half of this price. Please can you assure me that the problem will be fix.

In this paragraph you’ve concentrated on on your disappointment and the refund – well done!

..forward that you refund me at least half of this price – forward to a refund of at least half of the price I paid.

 

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Your faithfully,
Dorota Potoniec

That’s fine but it’s also very disappointing that my previous comments haven’t been read Dorothy… I refer to the one below:

Your faithfully,- Yours faithfully,

Informal email – composition no.6 ( transactional letter)     13/6/2015

You are planning a camping holiday with a friend and you saw a Camping Site advertisement. Read the advertisement together with the notes. Then write to Meadows Camping Site asking for the information and adding any relevant questions of your own.

FCE letter formal

Write your letter. Don’t include any postal addresses. Write your answer in 140- 190 words in an appropriate style on the separate answer sheet.

Dear Sir/ Madam
I am writing in response to your advertisement for a Meadows Camping Site posted on the Internet. I read about your offer and I am extremely interested in it, but I would like ask for few question.

It’s a great introduction.

Dear Sir/ Madam – Dear Sir/ Madam,

advertisement for a Meadows Camping Site – advertisement of a Meadows Camping Site

What interest me the most is localization. Would you be able to describe how exactly I can get to the camping and give more indication whether it is 3 km from Dover Bridge or more? I would also like to enquire how often are buses and could you please give me more information about timetable?

It’s a well written 2nd paragraph.

What interest – What interests

how often are buses- do you think it’s grammatically correct phrase? 1st- is it indirect question? 2nd- I believe we need to use another verb or add adjective.

Furthermore, I would be glad to receive some details about prices for rental a tent. And also because we do not have a car we will be interested to rent caravans. If you do not mind could you please send me how much it is cost? Moreover we would love to use all your facilities and I was wandering if they include wi – fi connection? I would like to also write that we are very active persona and we were wondering whether it will be possible either to do a swimming or cycling? I addition to this can you please let me know if you have access to swimming pool and cycling routs?

Well done! You’ve included the relevant points and asked an additional question. Nevertheless,…

prices for rental a tent- prices for tent rental

And also because- And also, because

interested to rent caravan – interested in renting caravans

If you do not mind could- If you do not mind, could

how much it is cost? – I’m sure you know how to correct this one

Moreover we would – punctuation?!

I would like to also write – I would also  like to write

active persona- instead of persona it’s better to use individuals

to do a swimming – go swimming

I addition to this can- In addition to this, can

cycling routs? – spelling

I will be grateful if you could provide me answers for my above mentioned question. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
 Your faithfully,
Dorota

That’s fine but

Your faithfully,- Yours faithfully,

Informal email – composition no.5 ( application letter)    12/6/2015

You see this advertisement in an international  newspaper.

TRAINEE MANAGER

We are looking for an enthusiastic and committed person with a good knowledge of the European financial markets to work as a trainee manager in our new Madrid branch. This is a challenging and demanding position for banking and finance graduates.

We offer flexible working hours, a fully-supported staff development programme, a clothing allowance and intensive language course in English and/or Spanish. Excellent prospects for promotion. 

Salary  € 25,000- € 35,000- a year depending on experience.

Send a letter of application to: Marianna Hardy, 349c High Road, London, UK

You must answer this question. Write your letter in 140- 190 words in an appropriate style on the separate answer sheet.

Letter wasn’t submitted. 

 

Letter wasn’t submitted. 

Letter wasn’t submitted. 

 

 

Letter wasn’t submitted. 

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